Dear Fisher,

I have a shameful secret. I am a huffer, slang term for a person (or cat) who inhales chemicals to get high. Every time my owners clean the bathroom, I sit in there for as long as it takes for the smell to dissipate. I don’t try to ingest the chemicals, I just get high off the smell. My owners don’t feel safe using all-natural cleaners to disinfect the bathroom, and the smell would take forever to go away if they closed the bathroom door. My owners are worried about me getting brain damage. Since the Betty Ford Clinic doesn’t take cats, what can we do?

Shadow

Dear Shadow,

You have done a beautiful thing by coming forward with your addiction. It is my guess that you are not the only huffer out there. By addressing the situation, you are also helping others. You must still have quite a few faculties left, though, to write such a letter.

Many humans believe the more odorous and chemically packed a cleaning product is, the more it will kill the germs. However, there is a growing movement toward Green Living, which calls for the use of more natural products to get rid of household germs. Case in point, my friends at
The Green Home and Garden Blog listed 101 Uses for Vinegar. They submit that “White distilled vinegar is a very versatile product that can be used to cook & clean your home.” Your people can help you by trying some of the following:

1.Kill germs all around the bathroom with a spray of full-strength white distilled vinegar. Wipe clean with a damp cloth.
2.To clean the floor, mix a solution of 3 drops dish washing liquid to 1/3 part white distilled vinegar, 1/3 part alcohol, and 1/3 part water. Spray sparingly and mop for a fast clean-up.
3.Remove soap buildup from faucets by scrubbing with a solution of 1 part salt to 4 parts white distilled vinegar.
4.To kill germs, spray full-strength white distilled vinegar on doorknobs and then wipe them dry.
These are just a few suggestions for cleaning, germ-killing and deodorizing. For more technical information, your owners would do well to visit Care2 Green Living and search their information on vinegar. Very convincing stuff there.
I found nothing to indicate vinegar cleaning will kill brain cells. You may, however, find yourself with cravings for dill pickles and sauerkraut. But that is another subject for another time.

Your friend,
Fisher

Mambo Sprouts and Wellness® Natural Food for Pets have teamed up together to help our fellow critters and they need our help! Gather up your pet (or pets) crazy, cute photos this season and enter them to win some great Wellness products. Each time Wellness receives an entry, they will donate $1.00 (up to $1,000). The Grand Prize winner will get to choose which animal charity the money will go to. Now, how fun is that? This is a very generous offering!

Contest ends December 31, 2009

How to Enter: Tell them how you take care of your pet’s wellness – naturally. Enter your favorite photo(s) of your pet (or pets) along with a pet wellness tip. Click here for more entry information.

Prizes and other great stuff: Five (5) first place winners will receive a great gift package for natural pet food from Wellness®, worth $25. One (1) Grand Prize winner will get a $100 gift package — plus the special privilege of choosing the animal-related charity to which Wellness’ donation will be granted! Wellness will update Flickr daily with your photos, along with your tips.

Join in the fun for an excellent cause. Start sending your photos and tips now, and don’t forget to tell family and friends. Helping our fellow critters get a better start to the new year helps us all.

Learn more about Wellness Natural Food and Treat for Pets, too. I see some good noms there! What do you think your favorite natural food would be?

For daily giggles, sign up to have I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER delivered to your email. Enjoy!

Your friend,
Fisher

Wart: Hey Fisher, who’s She talking to?
Fisher: Friends who are coming for Christmas dinner.
Wart: Those people with their CAT aren’t coming are they?
Fisher: Probably.
Wart: Is that CAT coming?
Fisher: Probably. But if so, you need to behave.

Guests at any time of the year can cause the stress factor to rise in the resident cats and dogs. Holiday times add to the stress because your humans are likely a little stressed-out, too. The energy is high, often chaotic, and usually erratic. So what do we do?

Humans do not especially know beforehand the kind of behavior their pet may display. The range can go from peeing on the coats arranged on the bed to over-exuberance from the minute the guests arrive.

You can choose to just run away and hide or fight back if anyone is so bold as to offer you their hand. Some will just freeze up and pretend they are invisible. They believe if they are very still and avoid eye contact, they can indeed seem invisible to the intruders. Or, best case scenario, just decide to act friendly and cope with the situation.

Your people should plan ahead. It is best to put a sign on the front door that everyone can read before ringing the bell. Large bold letters will show they mean it. Stop the problem before it begins!

Here is an example from the Bill Foundation in Santa Monica, CA, non-profit foundation dedicated to rescuing dogs from the Los Angeles shelter system and placing them in permanent loving homes. And they know what they are talking about:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About MY Pets

• They live here. You don’t.
• If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
• I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
• To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted angel who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Please help us all out by adding to this list and sending via comments. We pets need to declare our home Stress Free for the holidays.