New email from a friend who loves dogs…
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?


1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?



2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.



3. Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!



4. Rottweiler: Make me.



5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.




6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!



7. German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.



8. Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.



9.. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!



10. Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb???
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. tee hee

In the interest of fair play, you are invited to send your favorite cat joke. Poking a little fun is OK when done with love.

Your friend,
Fisher

Dear Fisher,

Well, it’s here again. The holiday festivities and much excitement around the house, people showing up from nowhere – or so it seems – and tons of food and goodies. Mind you, none of the food and goodies are for me! I call it the Annual Salivation Season. Some years it seems to last forever. Do people not know dogs have a keen sense of smell and some – that would be me – can smell a chocolate chip cookie from several yards away? I don’t want to be a downer, Fisher, but I’m looking at more than a month of feeling like I’m starving. All those yummy smells and the food never makes it to my bowl. How should I handle this? I think I can open the refrigerator door if I try real hard, but….

Marko

Dear Marko,

Oh, my dog! Do not under any circumstances open the refrigerator door. What do you suppose would happen if that one chocolate chip cookie you so crave was in the very back of the fridge? You crawl in with the best of plans, and wham. Door closes and you are stuck. Humans usually do not look in a refrigerator for many hours after looking everywhere else for a lost pet. Most will, eventually, after sheer desperation sets in, but by that time, well, just think about it.

It is most important that you understand you are not given many human food choices because they can raise havoc with your digestive system, make you very sick, and in some cases, kill you. Now that is a strong reason to let your humans control your intake. Here are a few substance you must avoid:

1. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages. Drunkenness is not a funny animal trick. The hops (included with beer) are very dangerous and could cause seizures.
2. Onions can cause anemia and even if they do not make you sick, you will likely find yourself very alone on the couch.
3. Chicken bones, as we all know, are dangerous because they splinter and can cause lacerations to your internal organs. No fish bones, either!
4. Stay away from cat food. Your digestive system is very different from the cat’s, and it probably will not kill you, but you might get quite sick. Or scratched abundantly.
5. And the chocolate – good news here – you do not need it! There is a substitute for chocolate called Carob and it smells and tastes like chocolate with no harm to you.

Your humans can find all sorts of very neat, healthy and tasty treats on the internet. Try to urge them to bake special treats for you while baking their own holiday cookies. A great site for this (and never mind the title) is The Poop Pantry. Look for some very easy and yummy recipes there. Cooking is often a family affair, and I vote for the family dog participating in the venture.

Your friend,
Fisher

The dog is not allowed in the house.
Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture
The dog can get on the old furniture only.
Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

From “My Dog is the World’s Best Dog” by Suzy Becker.

Well trained dogs are as agile as they are entertaining.

Hope you enjoyed the show!
Your friend,
Fisher

This week’s email had a few surprises. First came the fun video from my friends at The Outside Joke. Then, on a more serious side, came an amazing story of a group of men in New York out to make a difference!

You can visit The Outside Joke more of their fun stuff.

On a more serious side, check out Real Men Ink – Unleashed. Find out about their extraordinary efforts to help save helpless, abused and abandoned animals. They support rescue organizations and are committed to educating the public.

“If you don’t like us from the way we look, we can’t help that. But if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem, so stay out of the way.”
— Joe Panz, Leader, Rescue Ink