Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/atillavibes/

I love to get mail. Most exciting is when it comes to my post office in the form of a package. This time was not a surprise, though, as I was asked to review a new little book by Chronicle Books, released last month. The book? The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide for cats!

We all know how curious cats can be. We also know cats are quite self-sufficient and have a lot of pride. In this instance, curiosity won.

Authors: David Borgenicht and Ben H. Winters, with illustrations by Brenda Brown

As soon as we opened the package, my first thought was, This really is a pocket guide – fine-tuned and pocket ready. That is when pride won over curiosity and I concluded the authors likely realized that we cats just do not do Worst-Case Scenarios, hence the small size.

In their introduction, the authors write of the new kitten who really is a fun and cuddly pet, but then…

They act as if they own us, or as if they are gracing us with their presence. And sometimes, they even become downright difficult, scratching new furniture, marking territory, coughing up hairballs….

What? This is not going well. Only after reading on did I realize they are writing about the WORST-case scenarios. I forgave them and continued.

First you will find instructions to get a cat out of a tree. Very interesting with a surprise solution. It is so remarkable I think my staff was considering chasing me up a tree just to try it. Curious, anyone?

Much of the book is about different scenarios that must get handled: getting rid of cat pee odors, catnip addiction, and dealing with a cat who is afraid of mice. OK, that is definitely a worst-case scenario! Take a preview look at How to Kitten Proof Your Home.

Many humans have their own ideas of how to handle these difficult situations, but at the moment of distress are they really going to think clearly? The book is a little gem for just such times.

With Brenda’s excellent illustrations and the author’s fine wit, the book is well laced with humor – somewhat dry humor, very similar to a cat’s humor. My favorite section is Things to Make Out of Hairballs. Just to give you an idea, sample suggestions are: make fake sideburns, make piano dampers.

Please visit Chronicle Books to find their neat giveaway for 2010. Chronicle Books also publishes The Worst-Case Scenario pocket guide for dogs.

As for me, I could go on and on but I think I am about to have my own worst-case scenario – the Nightmare Nap. That would be the dream about my staff trying to chase me up a tree so she can try their solution to get me out.

Your friend,
Fisher

Dear Fisher,

I have a problem and I need some advice. Whenever I go potty (#2), I have the urge to drag my bottom along the carpet until I’m all clean. This makes my mom really angry! She took me to the vet last year and they said nothing was wrong with me. She took me to the vet again this year because she was so frustrated at the skid marks I leave on the carpet! They expressed my glands and again told her that there is nothing wrong with me and that they didn’t know why I was doing it. I am sad because it makes my mom so upset, but it really feels good to me. Do you have any advice that would help me stop scooting across the carpet so my mom will be happy again?

Taffy

Dear Taffy,

I must say I am happy your mom took you to the vet to have this problem checked out. And, of course I am very happy that you are just fine. For anyone else out there who experiences this kind of joy ride, it is important to know you could have a gland problem or perhaps a case of worms. I only mention that because I read it somewhere. I am not authorized to give medical advice and suggest always that you first check with your vet whenever you develop suspicious habits.

Cats can be the strictest judges of their own cleanliness. Cats usually do their best to cover up their deposits to the litter box, but sometimes they cannot help but make partial deposits and then are caught in a quandary of how to handle the leftovers. They just know it feels weird or itchy. Carpet scooting becomes the obvious solution.

I have a few ideas for you and your mom:

1. Mom should be aware of your potty habits and use pet wipes (or baby wipes) to help you finish the job upon leaving the litter box. You will both conclude that you either need the help and it is just a fact of life, or, you have developed a bad habit and are willing to break it in order to keep the wipes away from your tush.
2. Your mom can get a hair clipper for cats and clip fur around the area of deposit to avoid “cling-ons” which cause your bum to feel itchy or uncomfortable which then leads to your performance of the Butt Scootin’ Boogie on the carpet.
3. I think this is my best idea – your mom can purchase a small (2 feet x 3 or 4 feet) carpet with a rubber backing to place over the house carpet, and let you do your thing. It might be best if she bought 2 or 3 in order to allow for cleaning time. You, Taffy, are then somewhat obligated to confine your dance to the newly purchased ballroom floor.

You can find more information on wipes, carpet cleaning solutions and litter box fillers at
clean-cats-behind. I cannot stress enough that going to the vet for a check up is absolutely top of all lists of things to do. You have started in the right direction and I hope all others with this inclination will do the same.

Your friend,
Fisher