Wart: Hey Fisher! You awake?
Fisher: I am now.
Wart: I hear all sorts of rumblings in the closet.
Fisher: She decided to get out the Christmas decorations.
Wart: Oh. For a tree? Do we get a tree this year? Can we play in the tree? Can we bat the ornaments around the living room?
Fisher: I think we might get a tree and No and No. Go back to sleep.
Holidays are a lot of fun for curious cats and dependable dogs. Safety becomes a big issue, though, if pets are not kept from climbing the Christmas tree or chewing on the tree light cord. One of the most important rules is to make sure your beautiful tree is secure. Be very sure it will not come tumbling down, destroying all your heirloom decorations and possibly smashing into the bird’s cage.
Some technical tips on how to have a kitty proof stable Christmas Tree, written by Mary Anne Miller & Anne Moss for the Cat Site.
And if you really want a delightful experience, take a peek at Decorating the tree 101 to see some Christmas critters at work.
Wart: Hey Fisher. What’s all the noise in there?
Fisher: I think She hired a temp for the Holidays.
Wart: For pay?
Fisher: Probably minimum wage.
Wart: Why would She do that?
Fisher: There is always a lot of extra work to do around this time of year. It’s a good idea.
Wart: Well, why didn’t She ask me?
Fisher: I think it was something about your resume.
Cut down on stress during the holidays – get help if you need it. If you are missing your nap, or forgetting to smile, start crossing things off your task list. This is supposed to be a time of peace and and good cheer!
You never know when or where you will find your best helpers.
Dear Fisher,
I am having a little trouble over all the holidays coming up in the next few weeks. Every time the family starts to talk about guests coming and menus and gifts, they end up looking at me with that “but what do we do about Patches” look. I must confess I made quite a fool out of myself last year when guests were ushered into the dining room for Christmas dinner and there I was, hind foot up in the air, having a bath in the middle of what could have been an elegant dinner table.
I feel bad about making my humans worry about me and my bad behavior this year. It’s kinda like they are all thinking, “what if Patches does that, or this, or oh, no, I can’t even imagine IF!” I guess you can see my concern here. Can you help me figure out a way put my family at ease so they can enjoy their holiday entertaining? Thanks.
Patches
Dear Patches,
My, my, I got the picture. Not only could I see you as the holiday centerpiece, I could almost hear gasping as if I were in the crowd entering the dining room. I have to admit it took me awhile to remove that image and picture a beautifully decorated table with soft glowing candles, a huge arrangement of poinsettia flowers, a big turkey with stuffing and many other lovely dishes filled with yummy smelling food. You did not happen to do a little sampling, did you? Never mind. Don’t answer that.
My image of the table without you in the middle of it brought up several worse scenarios. You were a bad kitty, yes, but it could have been worse. Upon entering the dining room, guests could have witnessed you barfing up leaves and flowers from the poinsettia arrangement. According to toxicologists at the ASPCA, it is a myth that this plant is poisonous to cats, but, says APCC’s Dana B. Farbman, CVT, “In reality, ingestions typically produce only mild to moderate gastrointestinal tract irritation in pets, which may include drooling, vomiting and diarrhea.”
Or worse, there could have been a putrid smell of burning fur had you not paid proper attention to the candles and accidentally set yourself on fire. What if you sampled the turkey dressing which likely contains sage? Sage can do a number on your gastrointestinal system and, in more simple terms, cause a major tummy ache with the outcome of completely over-powering the food and scented candle smells and burnt fur odor. So you see, it could have been a lot worse!
Follow these suggestions to help your people feel assured you will not do a repeat of last year:
- Stay completely out of the dining room. When they are paying attention to you, walk toward the entryway, then proudly turn around and walk away.
- Stay completely out of the kitchen. You want them to feel comfortable that you are not interested in the yummy food smells.
- Practice calm and aloofness at all times until, say, President’s Day.
Your people can find wonderful safety tips for you at ASPCA. I encourage you to check it out as well. And remember, there is a magical law honored by pet people: You can do some pretty stupid things and they will still always love you.
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition
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Your friend,
Fisher
and Baked Potato Productions
Dear Fisher,
I’m trying so hard to be calm, but the excitement of the Holiday has really gotten me going, and going, and going. I am pretty sure it is starting to annoy my people, because now they do the Christmas wrapping behind closed doors. Boy, I wanna help!
Then last night, they were having a quiet moment and all snuggled on the couch looking so cute, and silly me jumped up on the coffee table and was going to jump into their laps, but on the way, my furry tail crossed over the top of the candle. Boy, nothing like smelly singed cat hair to interfere with a little romance. I really feel bad about it. What can I do to make it up to them?
Maggie
Dear Maggie,
I remember well how much fun it is for a kitten to get into the wrapping paper and then bounce around on 3 feet because the Scotch tape is stuck to the 4th foot. But, be very careful about some of the dangers of the Holiday hoopla at your house. You already know about the candle! I am just glad you were not hurt. Your people were not as mad as you might surmise, but rather they were worried for your safety and maybe felt a little embarrassed about having a lit candle around a “lit” kitten.
Kittens have a tendency to want to explore anything new, and the gift wrapping and ribbon can be too much to ignore. Your people are wise to put all the fixings out of your reach because you could get all caught up in the ribbons and bows, tape and stickers, and whatever else they are using. It would not take a very long length of ribbon going down your throat to cause a serious digestive problem. And, of course, everyone knows you would not cause trouble on purpose. It is just your youthful curiosity.
Our friends at the ASCPA have published a helpful list for you and your folks. Their advice includes: do not sample the lovely floral arrangements, boughs of holly and live mistletoe – they can make you very sick. Do not drink Christmas tree water – it is a breeding ground for bacteria. No chocolate! No people food hand-outs! There is more at their site ASPCA. If you are starting to feel like the world is against your having fun for the Holiday, just remember that everyone cares about you, and you are having a fine life without getting into these possible dangers.
Make sure your people see this: If you suspect that your animal companion has eaten a potentially toxic substance, call your veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center’s emergency hotline at (888) 426-4435 for round-the-clock telephone assistance. A fee may apply.
I found a really fun account of “Wrapping Christmas Presents With a Cat in the House” at wrapping presents. I hope you get a chance to check it out. While you are reading it (and totally relating to it), I want you to realize it would not have been written if not for so many other joyful little kitties getting into the same mischief. You are the essence of a kitten, and that is a good thing.
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt* Tampa Bay
