Dear Fisher,

We are writing to you to see if you can give us an easy way to lose weight so our humans would quit obsessing over it all the time. We are Burt and Tammy and we really don’t do a lot of running type exercises because we have these short little legs and we look silly. We also enjoy eating good food when our humans gave us their leftovers, but then suddenly they decided that we were getting a little on the fat side. So now we have this kind of double whammy where we are expected to eat healthy dog food instead of macaroni and cheese with hamburger thrown in. And, we are expected to go outside and play in the back yard. That does not include a slow walk to the end of the fence and then back again. They want us to run around the entire yard.

Of course we want to please, but we feel we are too old to change our ways. What do you think we can do about this? It is not fun!

Burt and Tammy

Dear Burt and Tammy,

No, it is not fun to go from cheeseburgers to dog food. But, I have to tell you, it sure is better for your health. I am guessing your people have not brought out the new toothbrushes yet? Healthy eating goes a long way toward helping with dental hygiene.

You two will do well to reverse your thought processes. Instead of thinking you are being punished because your humans would like you to do a little exercise, you might want to look forward to the play time as just having fun. If you walk to the end of the yard on occasion, you might want to raise the number of occasions. It isn’t so much that they want you to start lifting weights or jogging down the street past that super-jock dog you know will laugh at you; it is that they are concerned for your health and want you around for a long time. Your humans will do well to offer you praise for your efforts. You might visit www.dogplay.com for fun ideas for you and your humans to get more exercise together.

When you and Tammy are put outside to play in the yard, think of something that is actually fun. Chasing a ball or Frisbee is good sport. Start slowly and then build up to the point where you can play longer with less exhaustion. Do not go straight for the strenuous exercise thinking it will work faster to get you fit. It will wear you out faster and increase the absolute dread of ever exercising again!

There are many maladies that can come from overeating and under exercising pets. You and your humans might want to start out by having a good chat with your vet just to do a check up on the state of your health.

As far as the eating goes, try very hard to eat well, eat less, and eat less more often. That way you have some time in between to digest your food and let some of the calories work for good. It is a change, but you might just find yourselves feeling better and more energetic. Then think about the fun it will be when you do your perky little dog jog past the super-jock dog down the street. Your confidence alone will stop his giggles.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

My name is Tabby and I am a recently rescued kitty. That’s exactly why I have a problem. I live with a family of 2 adult humans, 2 young kids and 1 cat. The cat Tiger was also a rescue kitty, but he seems to have forgotten what that was like. Talk about Lord of the Manor!

I am a male cat, about 2 years younger than Tiger. They suspect he is 5 years old now and has lived with them for 1 year. Tiger acts like he doesn’t want me around at all. He likes to attack me and he doesn’t care if the children are around or not. The adults worry the kids will get caught in the crossfire, and I guess I would be the one to go if anything bad happened to them. I also worry about the kids and about being ousted from a home I could really learn to love. What should I do to help solve this situation?

Tabby

Dear Tabby,

Congratulations on your recent rescue! I would caution you to not try too hard to make everything perfect right from the get go. That is more than your new family should expect and causes a lot of undo stress for you. They must give extra and equal attention to you both. Know that they would not have taken you in if they did not want you. Truth be known, Tiger probably wanted a little brother, too, before he actually got one.

The socialization factor plays a large role depending on the extent of Tiger’s homelessness (and yours). Cats can be pretty territorial and if either of you were kittens when separated from your potential societies, it is tough for you to start sharing time and space with another cat. All involved must accept the fact that you may never be close pals, but if you can reach a “tolerable” relationship, it will benefit your whole household.

If the unexpected attacks continue, one of you should be put in time out for awhile. Then, your humans can gradually re-introduce you to one another very slowly. If you are chosen for the separation, do not despair. Do not feel picked on. Remember the safety of the children is involved and so is the future of your happiness. Think of it as an honor to be chosen the most valuable player in the solution.

Perhaps Tiger will have to take his turn at separation, too. That would be the best way to handle things. Neither of you are really at fault, so you should each take a turn. Only when each of you gives up the need to rule the roost will you be able to co-exist. This can take awhile. It is best for you to remain calm and not display any fear of either Tiger and his attacks, or having to leave the house. Fear makes you look weak, and for now, Tiger is probably playing off that attitude.

Your adult humans must be very careful not to get in the way if you two are involved in a cat fight. Since the little kids are around this display, they must also be instructed to slowly walk away from the melee. There are some other ways to stop your battle, according to information found at the Humane Society your humans might find interesting.

First they could use a small water gun and squirt water at the two of you. Think of this as a way to cool off your tempers. A second try could involve tossing small soft toys at you. If you are very lucky, the toys may also contain some catnip, which can be a great “equalizer” as you may both get very limber and sleepy. Not a bad idea for either of you!

Your friend,
Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

I’m trying so hard to be calm, but the excitement of the Holiday has really gotten me going, and going, and going. I am pretty sure it is starting to annoy my people, because now they do the Christmas wrapping behind closed doors. Boy, I wanna help!

Then last night, they were having a quiet moment and all snuggled on the couch looking so cute, and silly me jumped up on the coffee table and was going to jump into their laps, but on the way, my furry tail crossed over the top of the candle. Boy, nothing like smelly singed cat hair to interfere with a little romance. I really feel bad about it. What can I do to make it up to them?

Maggie

Dear Maggie,

I remember well how much fun it is for a kitten to get into the wrapping paper and then bounce around on 3 feet because the Scotch tape is stuck to the 4th foot. But, be very careful about some of the dangers of the Holiday hoopla at your house. You already know about the candle! I am just glad you were not hurt. Your people were not as mad as you might surmise, but rather they were worried for your safety and maybe felt a little embarrassed about having a lit candle around a “lit” kitten.

Kittens have a tendency to want to explore anything new, and the gift wrapping and ribbon can be too much to ignore. Your people are wise to put all the fixings out of your reach because you could get all caught up in the ribbons and bows, tape and stickers, and whatever else they are using. It would not take a very long length of ribbon going down your throat to cause a serious digestive problem. And, of course, everyone knows you would not cause trouble on purpose. It is just your youthful curiosity.

Our friends at the ASCPA have published a helpful list for you and your folks. Their advice includes: do not sample the lovely floral arrangements, boughs of holly and live mistletoe - they can make you very sick. Do not drink Christmas tree water – it is a breeding ground for bacteria. No chocolate! No people food hand-outs! There is more at their site ASPCA. If you are starting to feel like the world is against your having fun for the Holiday, just remember that everyone cares about you, and you are having a fine life without getting into these possible dangers.

Make sure your people see this: If you suspect that your animal companion has eaten a potentially toxic substance, call your veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center’s emergency hotline at (888) 426-4435 for round-the-clock telephone assistance. A fee may apply.

I found a really fun account of “Wrapping Christmas Presents With a Cat in the House” at wrapping presents. I hope you get a chance to check it out. While you are reading it (and totally relating to it), I want you to realize it would not have been written if not for so many other joyful little kitties getting into the same mischief. You are the essence of a kitten, and that is a good thing.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay