Dear Fisher,

We are writing to you to see if you can give us an easy way to lose weight so our humans would quit obsessing over it all the time. We are Burt and Tammy and we really don’t do a lot of running type exercises because we have these short little legs and we look silly. We also enjoy eating good food when our humans gave us their leftovers, but then suddenly they decided that we were getting a little on the fat side. So now we have this kind of double whammy where we are expected to eat healthy dog food instead of macaroni and cheese with hamburger thrown in. And, we are expected to go outside and play in the back yard. That does not include a slow walk to the end of the fence and then back again. They want us to run around the entire yard.

Of course we want to please, but we feel we are too old to change our ways. What do you think we can do about this? It is not fun!

Burt and Tammy

Dear Burt and Tammy,

No, it is not fun to go from cheeseburgers to dog food. But, I have to tell you, it sure is better for your health. I am guessing your people have not brought out the new toothbrushes yet? Healthy eating goes a long way toward helping with dental hygiene.

You two will do well to reverse your thought processes. Instead of thinking you are being punished because your humans would like you to do a little exercise, you might want to look forward to the play time as just having fun. If you walk to the end of the yard on occasion, you might want to raise the number of occasions. It isn’t so much that they want you to start lifting weights or jogging down the street past that super-jock dog you know will laugh at you; it is that they are concerned for your health and want you around for a long time. Your humans will do well to offer you praise for your efforts. You might visit www.dogplay.com for fun ideas for you and your humans to get more exercise together.

When you and Tammy are put outside to play in the yard, think of something that is actually fun. Chasing a ball or Frisbee is good sport. Start slowly and then build up to the point where you can play longer with less exhaustion. Do not go straight for the strenuous exercise thinking it will work faster to get you fit. It will wear you out faster and increase the absolute dread of ever exercising again!

There are many maladies that can come from overeating and under exercising pets. You and your humans might want to start out by having a good chat with your vet just to do a check up on the state of your health.

As far as the eating goes, try very hard to eat well, eat less, and eat less more often. That way you have some time in between to digest your food and let some of the calories work for good. It is a change, but you might just find yourselves feeling better and more energetic. Then think about the fun it will be when you do your perky little dog jog past the super-jock dog down the street. Your confidence alone will stop his giggles.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

I’m trying so hard to be calm, but the excitement of the Holiday has really gotten me going, and going, and going. I am pretty sure it is starting to annoy my people, because now they do the Christmas wrapping behind closed doors. Boy, I wanna help!

Then last night, they were having a quiet moment and all snuggled on the couch looking so cute, and silly me jumped up on the coffee table and was going to jump into their laps, but on the way, my furry tail crossed over the top of the candle. Boy, nothing like smelly singed cat hair to interfere with a little romance. I really feel bad about it. What can I do to make it up to them?

Maggie

Dear Maggie,

I remember well how much fun it is for a kitten to get into the wrapping paper and then bounce around on 3 feet because the Scotch tape is stuck to the 4th foot. But, be very careful about some of the dangers of the Holiday hoopla at your house. You already know about the candle! I am just glad you were not hurt. Your people were not as mad as you might surmise, but rather they were worried for your safety and maybe felt a little embarrassed about having a lit candle around a “lit” kitten.

Kittens have a tendency to want to explore anything new, and the gift wrapping and ribbon can be too much to ignore. Your people are wise to put all the fixings out of your reach because you could get all caught up in the ribbons and bows, tape and stickers, and whatever else they are using. It would not take a very long length of ribbon going down your throat to cause a serious digestive problem. And, of course, everyone knows you would not cause trouble on purpose. It is just your youthful curiosity.

Our friends at the ASCPA have published a helpful list for you and your folks. Their advice includes: do not sample the lovely floral arrangements, boughs of holly and live mistletoe - they can make you very sick. Do not drink Christmas tree water – it is a breeding ground for bacteria. No chocolate! No people food hand-outs! There is more at their site ASPCA. If you are starting to feel like the world is against your having fun for the Holiday, just remember that everyone cares about you, and you are having a fine life without getting into these possible dangers.

Make sure your people see this: If you suspect that your animal companion has eaten a potentially toxic substance, call your veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center’s emergency hotline at (888) 426-4435 for round-the-clock telephone assistance. A fee may apply.

I found a really fun account of “Wrapping Christmas Presents With a Cat in the House” at wrapping presents. I hope you get a chance to check it out. While you are reading it (and totally relating to it), I want you to realize it would not have been written if not for so many other joyful little kitties getting into the same mischief. You are the essence of a kitten, and that is a good thing.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

As you can see I’m a big, muscular, handsome tom-cat! However I seem to be having difficulty in how to handle a Golden Retriever, Jack, who is now a habitant of my domain. I’ve tried swatting him and biting him on the nose but nothing seems to work. He takes great joy in chasing me and I am personally getting sick of it. The other “intruder” on my turf is a cocker spaniel, Bailey, and he knows enough to give me my space. Any ideas on how I can train this brute?

Louis

Dear Louis,

Of course you are irritated with the constant chasing. The thing you must think about is your mode of behavior in retaliation. If swatting and biting of the nose is not working, perhaps you should think up a new plan. For instance, can you say “aloof”? It seems to me that Bailey uses this tactic well and it is working for the two of you. The more detached and unapproachable you can make yourself – and I know many cats who master this automatically – the less interest Jack will have in you.

You and Jack are just displaying parts of your different personalities. Big dogs tend to need much exercise to use up their restless energy. Big cats tend to not exercise so much, but rather just take life easy. Neither of you must accept any blame for your circumstance, but Jack does not see his actions toward you as a problem. You see a problem, and therefore must consider how you can change your attitude to make the situation better for you.

Jack sounds like he is in high prey drive, and as you have found out, once set in motion, he is hard to stop. This is where your humans might need to come into the picture. It is very hard to stop the chase once is has begun, but if they can look for the signs leading up to it they can help put a stop to the madness before it starts. The littlest signs that Jack is going into high energy mode should indicate to them that he needs to step outside – without you! It would be a perfect time to toss a Frisbee or tennis ball at the back fence and let him run off some of the steam.

Be very sure that you are not operating out of fear. Also be very sure you are not tempting him with little quirks of your own. Your humans can again watch for these tell-tail signs and avert your behavior. Cats have a way of staring at the “enemy” with their ears back and their tail wrenching back and forth. This particular tail action has quite the opposite effect of dog tail wagging. It is a defense ready action. So, you have on the one hand, the energetic ready-to-romp dog, and on the other, the defensive, ready to rumble cat. Hmmmm. Get the picture?

If your humans can pick up on these gestures, they can scoop you up and coddle you and you will first of all feel safe. Maybe even a little smug which if fine, but do not be too quick to show it. The ideal situation is to put a halt to the chasing, swatting and biting before is gets out of hand and the two of you are off to the races and their commands will likely become nothing more than background noise.

For more information and interesting advice, check out this web site: dogplay.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay