Dear Fisher,
My name if Olivia. I do have a concern. I live with my mom and another dog named Andy. Like me, Andy is a wire-haired fox terrier, but I run the household. My problem is that my mom insists on bringing in other dogs which she considers “rescues”. I have nothing against dogs or cats who find themselves in a rescue situation. Andy and I are both rescues. I do not, however, want to spend my later years sharing my home with these dogs. As soon as they arrive, I make it clear to them that they are not welcome. This upsets my mom. She has been very good to me, but I just cannot continue to share my home. I want my mom and Andy in my house and that is all. She is very aware of my feelings. Any suggestions?
Olivia
Dear Olivia,
I am not sure if your problems are due to other dogs stopping in and staying with your family every now and then as much as they are occurring because you are in your later years. We do get a little more opinionated and a tad bit more irritable as we get older. And, let’s face it – we start to think we need a lot more attention.
Your mom is surely a wonderful person to rescue Andy and you. Two little terriers in the house would be enough for most people, and yet, she continues to help others in need. Humans tend to repeat events that bring pleasure to them. You could easily surmise she continues to help others because helping you brought so much joy. That is a very big compliment to you and you would do well to think along those terms.
Here are several ideas that could make life easier for you:
- Your mom can count on your ability to establish your higher position in the house by not trying too hard to force you to be “polite” to the visiting rescue
- Introductions should be made slowly and calmly
- As the dominant, homesteaded dog, your need to eat first is only a matter of propriety and not rudeness and should be allowed
- You should keep the same privileges you enjoy when there are no visitors
- A little extra attention should convince you that you are not headed for the revolving door
Even though you are the “boss”, dominance problems may not be the issue. If bad behavior persists, a check up at the vet’s place may reveal an underlying cause
By no means are any of you allowed to fight each other as that can lead to injury of body and pride.
Daniel Estep, Ph.D. and Suzanne Hetts, Ph.D. Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists, provide excellent information and training advice on line at Animal Behavior Associates.
And so, dear Olivia, methinks it is the crankiness of older age setting in along with a lack of confidence in your position. You can do much to ease both conditions by helping your human in her endeavors to aid other dogs not nearly as fortunate as you. OK? End of sermon.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
I am having a little trouble over all the holidays coming up in the next few weeks. Every time the family starts to talk about guests coming and menus and gifts, they end up looking at me with that “but what do we do about Patches” look. I must confess I made quite a fool out of myself last year when guests were ushered into the dining room for Christmas dinner and there I was, hind foot up in the air, having a bath in the middle of what could have been an elegant dinner table.
I feel bad about making my humans worry about me and my bad behavior this year. It’s kinda like they are all thinking, “what if Patches does that, or this, or oh, no, I can’t even imagine IF!” I guess you can see my concern here. Can you help me figure out a way put my family at ease so they can enjoy their holiday entertaining? Thanks.
Patches
Dear Patches,
My, my, I got the picture. Not only could I see you as the holiday centerpiece, I could almost hear gasping as if I were in the crowd entering the dining room. I have to admit it took me awhile to remove that image and picture a beautifully decorated table with soft glowing candles, a huge arrangement of poinsettia flowers, a big turkey with stuffing and many other lovely dishes filled with yummy smelling food. You did not happen to do a little sampling, did you? Never mind. Don’t answer that.
My image of the table without you in the middle of it brought up several worse scenarios. You were a bad kitty, yes, but it could have been worse. Upon entering the dining room, guests could have witnessed you barfing up leaves and flowers from the poinsettia arrangement. According to toxicologists at the ASPCA, it is a myth that this plant is poisonous to cats, but, says APCC’s Dana B. Farbman, CVT, “In reality, ingestions typically produce only mild to moderate gastrointestinal tract irritation in pets, which may include drooling, vomiting and diarrhea.”
Or worse, there could have been a putrid smell of burning fur had you not paid proper attention to the candles and accidentally set yourself on fire. What if you sampled the turkey dressing which likely contains sage? Sage can do a number on your gastrointestinal system and, in more simple terms, cause a major tummy ache with the outcome of completely over-powering the food and scented candle smells and burnt fur odor. So you see, it could have been a lot worse!
Follow these suggestions to help your people feel assured you will not do a repeat of last year:
- Stay completely out of the dining room. When they are paying attention to you, walk toward the entryway, then proudly turn around and walk away.
- Stay completely out of the kitchen. You want them to feel comfortable that you are not interested in the yummy food smells.
- Practice calm and aloofness at all times until, say, President’s Day.
Your people can find wonderful safety tips for you at ASPCA. I encourage you to check it out as well. And remember, there is a magical law honored by pet people: You can do some pretty stupid things and they will still always love you.
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition
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Dear Fisher,
Two months ago my human Mom got a job that lets her work at home. She was so thrilled about it because she would be home more to keep me company. Lately she gets pretty irritated with me because she says I make too much noise. Maybe I am more vocal than before, but I thought she could use the company while she works. I would like having her home much more if she didn’t yell at me a lot. What should I do about this?
Ruffy
Dear Ruffy,
There are several possible reasons why you became Chatty Catty since your human is home more. I wonder, though, if this is a new behavior to keep your human company or if you always were a talker but no one was around to hear you. In either case, your human should pay close attention to your conversations and at the same time, you should not always expect her to know what you are talking about.
Most cats will talk some, but Siamese are known to talk more than most. It is one of their most beloved traits. Depending on intensity and frequency, it can be one of their most irritating traits as well. Your human mom likely has to concentrate on the work she is doing in her new job which may tend to make your cat-speak a little more on the irritating side of the scale. However, she would do well to take a little time to consider why you are suddenly more vocal.
Your human should first analyze the situation carefully and make sure all your needs are met. Do you have food and water in the proper bowls? Is the littler box clean? Are you just lonely and want attention or are you reacting to the sudden change in routine around your home. After looking into the situation and finding you are well cared for, she might want to consider whether or not you are in some physical distress and are covering up with small talk. If that is the case, it would be wise take you for a visit with your veterinarian.
After all is carefully scrutinized, your needs are met and health is fine, the #1 rule for dealing with a mouthy cat is to ignore the chatter. Recommendations from the San Francisco SPCA Cat Behavior Department are:
- Ignore your behavior until you are quiet and then pour on the love.
- Be patient.
- Do not scold – that will just encourage you.
- Do not reward – that will just encourage you more.
- Set up a designated time out from work and schedule play time.
- Recognize this new habit may take a long time to reverse itself.
- Be patient.
Worst case scenario, dear Ruffy, is that your human mom might have to recognize your behavior is not likely to change. A good alternative in this situation is to move her “at home” office to a location away from the constant interruption you have to offer. Peace for all!
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition
Dear Fisher,
My name is LiL Girl. I’m a small female five year old bob-tailed cat. My best friend Buoy, was about 12, and passed away a few months ago. Well, my human went and brought in a rescued female named Blue who is about one year old. She is bigger than me. She’s totally black, like a blank panther to my bobcat status. At first it was all good, but now she is always attacking and I get really scared she is going to hurt me. I have been hiding in the sofa and under the bed a lot. Now my human has taken to locking me in the bedroom with my own litter box, food and water, because every time I see that other cat I can’t stop freaking out. I didn’t used to be like this.
Blue is a really nice loving cat and just wants to play, but lately she’s been nothing more than a stalker and my human is frustrated and sad. Will i ever be the same? I miss playing fetch with my humans (I am an excellent fetcher) and just running around and everything else.
LiL Girl
Dear LiL Girl,
It sounds like you are experiencing some pretty major life changes. The loss of Buoy has surely been very difficult for your humans and you. Blue, still an energetic kitten is just so happy to have a forever home – and her kitten energy has not been seen in your household for several years. You have very different issues, but you may both suffer from a dose of separation anxiety just now.
Of course this is all frustrating for your owner. Cats are pretty hard to understand, they were not meant to be understood, and many agree they do not particularly like it. There are very few studies on bereavement issues in cats. This is probably true because we all know cats are just born with an element of “coolness.” That is the one trait that makes us so intriguing. For more information, visit fab – feline advisory board to learn more about different cat reactions to the loss of a loved one. Also search the animal rescue sites for insight into Blue’s behavior.
The fact that the two of you got along fine for the first while is a great indication that you will come to terms with your separate issues, and learn how to get along with each other again.
A few things your humans can try:
1. Each should have a turn in the bedroom while the other is out romping and playing. Start with 4 – 8 hour intervals, then shorter and shorter eventually leaving door ajar to see if you are making progress.
2. Food, water bowls, and litter boxes should be separated, then slowly moved closer together.
3. New toys! You should each have time to play alone with the same toys before learning the great lesson of sharing.
LiL Cat, try to let your inner kitten come out to play. The holidays are coming up and you and Blue can have great adventures hissing at Trick-or-Treaters, stealing turkey off the Thanksgiving table, and climbing the Christmas tree! Oh, and please tell your people they are more than welcome to write another letter when the two of you have reached this level.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
Hi, my name is Zelda. It is great to finally write you. My human reads your column and sometimes brings it home to show me.
Anyway, I am having some trouble in my new home here, and I was wondering if you could help me. My human and I met through his X and when they split up, I stayed with him. Even though he gets up REAL early in the morning and wakes me up, and then to school and work, and back home late at night and I have to yell at him for attention – I love it here! And, his parents have 2 Pomeranian dogs who are fun to play with.
I share a room with my human, and have a special pillow on the bed. Everything would seem great to the outside observer, but there is a dark side. My human’s parents already had a cat. Her name is Kitty-Lynn and she is a stick in the mud. She never wants to play and it seems like every time I come outside of my room to roam around, she is always there. We always end up just in the middle of a stand-off, hissing at each other and just staring. There are times when I try to be nice, but it just doesn’t work. I was wondering what can be done so we can finally live in peace. Sure, I have my room and she has hers, and as long as we stay out of each other’s way we are fine. But I would like to be able to share the living room and family room with her. Is there anything that can be done so we can finally get past our petty differences?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
It sounds very encouraging to me that Kitty-Lynn and you are not getting into anything worse than hissing and staring. The process of getting along can be slower than you would like but it is very possible. Kitty-Lynn is probably a little miffed at your unexpected arrival. If you can try to not take that personally, it will help you both. She had her territory all laid out and was happy as the only cat.
There are some very interesting things you can do to make things better. All household members will need to cooperate and I think you will all get some good fun out of the exercises in the long run. Think of them as “character building” games.
Since you have already developed a pattern of hissing and staring at each other when any boundaries are crossed, it is best to start over at the beginning. That means that you, Zelda, will be confined to your own room for a short period of time. You will keep your litter box and food dishes in there with you, and of course, you have your own pillow on the bed. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and sleep directly on the bed cover and just use the pillow for your head.
The next step is for your human to put your food dishes very near to the door of your room before he goes out for the day. His parents should put Kitty-Lynn’s dishes on the other side of the door. The door stays closed a while longer. But, you will both start to associate each other’s presence with something pleasurable, like eating your dinner. Kitty-Lynn will start to get used to your smells, and you will start to get used to hers.
Stay with me – this is getting fun. Next step is to put a brick on each side of the door so it can remain open a tiny bit, not enough for either of you to break on through to the other side. Lots of opportunity to peak at each other! Good old cat curiosity will take over and you will both probably forget the staring and hissing shortly.
And now the Grande Finale! You, Zelda, can come out of your room and into the main house. Yes, the whole house! Kitty-Lynn will stay in your room with your things for awhile. Oh, I know, there is going to be a whole lot of snooping and sniffing going on while you get accustomed to each other’s smells, but as long as you have hidden away your really personal documents, there should be no problem. As you get to know each other in this very subtle way, you will become ready to face each other with a different attitude. You may not end up snuggling together, but I foresee some playtime together. Or, you might end up just peacefully tolerating each other which is pretty good, and we all know cats are masters of tolerance!
I also want to mention that our Tampa Bay SPCA also has a FREE Behavior Helpline. Call 727-586-3591, then ask for or dial extension 133 and follow the prompts.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
I live with my human and one other dog. We dogs are both female and spayed. My roommate dog was about 5 years old when I showed up at just 6 weeks old. She took me under her wing and played with me and cleaned me and taught me how to play fight.
That was all fine until I turned 2 years old and now our playing isn’t so much fun. We’re getting into some nasty fights. I’m not sure why the sudden change. Our human is very upset about our fighting and I fear one of us might have to go. We are big dogs – 85 to 95 pounds each and we could do a lot of harm to each other and to her. Can you help us through this? It was so nice when we got along with each other.
Bear
Dear Bear,
Yours is a normal situation, albeit, frightful and most likely annoying. As a 2-year old, you have come into your age of social maturity. Coddling by your older housemate is no longer acceptable and you now want the first treat, first dibs on the new toy, and first to reach the door to greet your human. Naturally, the older gal who was mothering to you as a pup is not pleased. Think of it from her point of view. It is a “Who the heck do you think you are?” reaction.
None of you are at fault here. It is natural in a setting where two dogs live together to reach an agreement of social hierarchy where one of you is dominant (alpha), and the other is subordinate. Throughout all the ages, such an agreement between dogs allows them to work together. You may not believe it now, but your cooperation as the subordinate dog will make your life much easier. After all, your life was pretty cushy before you reached this stage.
Doggies Paradise gives excellent advice for all three of you:
-
• Alpha dog status must be supported. Let Alpha take toys from you, be first in line, and sleep with her head on the pillow.
• Humans must not undermine your hierarchy by attempting to treat you equally.
• Your hierarchy rituals, no matter how upsetting, should be allowed in order to establish dominance in the pack.
• Bear, face it, you are younger and newer to the group, therefore you are the subordinate.
• Alpha, without exception, should get the preferential treatment.
• Humans should never attempt to break up a fight between dogs – use a blast of water from a hose if need be.
Once you are through trying to impress each other with your penchant for dominance, the natural order of things will come into play and there will be peace in your world.
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition
Dear Fisher,
My human has another pet. It is loud, noisy, and obnoxious and I hate it. I think my human likes it so much because it doesn’t shed, in fact, it cannot seem to get enough of the hair I shed. I have tried to scare it away by growling, barking, and nipping at it, but it does no good! My human brings it out and lets it run around the house; all the while she is chasing it, as if she really enjoys this creature!
I am trying to protect her from this hair-sucking monster, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate my concern, and seems annoyed with me. How can I get the human to understand?
Cosmo the Hoover-Hater
Dear Cosmo,
It seems you are spending much energy on saving your human from the dangers of the Hoover. You might want to consider that your human is using it for good purpose. It will help if you determine the root of the problem here. Are you overly territorial? Or, are you extremely sensitive to the high frequency noise this thing puts out. We all know dogs have terrific hearing that catches noises inaudible to most humans.
The high frequency hearing talent is the most common scientific reason why a dog would react badly to a vacuum cleaner. If it is your sensitive hearing that causes you to take on the Hoover, you would do well to use the doggy door and wait outside until the thing is put away. No yard? Choose a quiet room and nudge the door closed. Do not worry, you will be found and released when the dance is over.
There is little explanation as to why two dogs living in the same house with the same beast would react differently; one dog going into an attack mode, while the other remains completely aloof. I have even heard of a dog with big flappy lips who loves to have his lips pulled into the nozzle as though he is getting a lip massage. Many dogs like getting “brushed” with the evil monster. So, maybe we should look at the territorial issue and how best to handle that.
You growl, bark and nip at it. You are wasting time and often annoying your human. You and your human will do well to work on your socialization skills. The results will lead to a cleaner, happier household. If you are so inclined to get your two cents in anyway, feel free to shed all over everything again. Just know that the Hoover will be back.
Try this exercise in socialization:
• Allow the Hoover to spend more time in the family room without turning it on
• Place treat on or near Hoover so dog gets used to closeness without fear
• Turn vacuum on and off without pushing it around; if dog is good, dog gets a treat
• Never scold or criticize dog for reacting badly
• Find more good tips at Dog Obedience Advice
There are special products on the market you should know about. Brushers can be attached to the sucker for your personal grooming. And, this is neat – a toy dog closely resembling a real dog attaches to the nozzle, muffles the noise and is less scary. Or, maybe the robot vacuum that turns on and runs around by itself when it detects something to suck up. I am not bringing these things up to give you nightmares but to give options. I am guessing you will be much happier to just settle in with the Hoover.
Your friend,
Fisher
published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition
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