Dear Fisher,
I’m trying so hard to be calm, but the excitement of the Holiday has really gotten me going, and going, and going. I am pretty sure it is starting to annoy my people, because now they do the Christmas wrapping behind closed doors. Boy, I wanna help!
Then last night, they were having a quiet moment and all snuggled on the couch looking so cute, and silly me jumped up on the coffee table and was going to jump into their laps, but on the way, my furry tail crossed over the top of the candle. Boy, nothing like smelly singed cat hair to interfere with a little romance. I really feel bad about it. What can I do to make it up to them?
Maggie
Dear Maggie,
I remember well how much fun it is for a kitten to get into the wrapping paper and then bounce around on 3 feet because the Scotch tape is stuck to the 4th foot. But, be very careful about some of the dangers of the Holiday hoopla at your house. You already know about the candle! I am just glad you were not hurt. Your people were not as mad as you might surmise, but rather they were worried for your safety and maybe felt a little embarrassed about having a lit candle around a “lit” kitten.
But wait – you need to know more:
- 1.do not sample any floral arrangements, boughs of holly or live mistletoe
- 2. do not drink the Christmas tree water
- 3. no chocolate and no people food hand-outs
Find out why these things are harmful at the ASPCA site. This, for your own good and to remind your humans of the troubles you could get into if left on your own.
If you are starting to feel like the world is against your having fun this Holiday, just remember that everyone cares about you. Everyone knows you would not cause trouble on purpose. It is just your youthful curiosity.
Be safe, my friend, and have a happy holiday!
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
I have had many wonderful times rummaging through wrapping paper, ribbons, and the Christmas tree in past years. I’m quite a mature cat, and careful not to chew on things I shouldn’t and wouldn’t swallow things that could make me choke. This year I’m a little worried because we are expecting a new kitten on Christmas Eve and I’m hearing rumblings about changes and new rules. I’m beginning to think my Christmas isn’t going to be very much fun. What do you think?
Tiger
Dear Tiger,
Remain positive about a new kitten coming to live with you. Your maturity can make you a star. You have years of stories to tell of past holidays. You will be idolized. New Kitty will hang on your every meow.
Think about your own young life back in the day. I am sure you can remember your people taking precautions to keep you out of harms way. Cat plus curiosity plus Christmas tree can turn disastrous if a few rules are not put into place. The most cat-proof thing to do is set the tree up in the yard – for the duration of the holiday. While that would be a nice way to share your holiday spirit with the neighbors, it might not be very safe for the neighbor cats.
Several ideas your humans can use to dissuade improper behavior are:
- 1. Secure the tree with a strong stable base, or attach clear fishing line to the top of the tree and then to a ceiling hook. No need to re-invent the theory of what goes up must come down.
- 2. Most cats do not like the smell of citrus, so place lemon or orange rinds around the bottom of the tree to stop the climbing urge. For best results, replace the rinds often.
- 3. Sprays, such as Bitter Yuck, can keep critters from chewing on the branches. Humans will know immediately what little kitty was up to when they hear the exclamations, “bitter!” and “yuck!”
- 4. Choose ornaments that are not easily confused with kitty toys. Kittens are not likely to bite into a ceramic candy cane. Or, you might find out that new little kitty is not the brightest bulb on the tree and re-think keeping the tree in the yard.
Visit Cat Lovers Only for more information. Most safety rules apply the the Dog as well – just do not tell the dog you found the information on a cat site.
Be safe, be good, and have a happy holiday.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
Well, it’s here again. The holiday festivities and much excitement around the house, people showing up from nowhere – or so it seems – and tons of food and goodies. Mind you, none of the food and goodies are for me! I call it the Annual Salivation Season. Some years it seems to last forever. Do people not know dogs have a keen sense of smell and some – that would be me – can smell a chocolate chip cookie from a mile away? I don’t want to be a downer, Fisher, but I’m looking at more than a month of feeling like I’m starving. All those yummy smells and the food never makes it to my bowl. How should I handle this? I think I can open the refrigerator door if I try real hard, but….
Sadie
Dear Sadie,
Do not under any circumstances open the refrigerator door. Imagine, you crawl in with the best of plans, and wham! The door closes and you are stuck. Humans usually do not look in a refrigerator for many hours after looking everywhere else for a lost pet. Most will eventually, after sheer desperation sets in, but by that time…well, just think about it.
It is most important that you understand you are not given many human food choices because they can raise havoc with your digestive system, make you very sick, and in some cases, kill you. Now that is a strong reason to let your humans control your intake.
Here are a few substance you must avoid:
- 1. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages. Drunkenness is not a funny animal trick. The hops (included with beer) are very dangerous and could cause seizures.
- 2. Onions can cause anemia and even if they do not make you sick, you will likely find yourself very alone on the couch.
- 3. Chicken bones, as we all know, are dangerous because they splinter and can cause lacerations to your internal organs. No fish bones, either!
- 4. Stay away from cat food. Your digestive system is very different from the cat’s, and it probably will not kill you, but you might get quite sick. Or scratched abundantly.
- 5. And the chocolate – good news here – you do not need it! There is a substitute for chocolate called Carob and it smells and tastes like chocolate with no harm to you.
Your humans can find all sorts of very neat, healthy and tasty treats on the internet. Try to urge them to bake special treats for you while baking their own holiday cookies. A great site for this (and never mind the title) is The Poop. Tee hee. Look for some very easy and yummy recipes there. Cooking is often a family affair, and I vote for the family dog participating in the venture.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
Oh dear, oh dear. Holiday time again. Every time the family starts to talk about guests coming and menus and gifts, they give me that “what could she possibly do this year look.” I did make a real fool of myself last year when the guests came into the dining room for Thanksgiving dinner and there I was, hind foot up in the air, having a bath in the middle of their elegant dinner table.
I feel bad that my humans worry about me and my bad behavior this year. I see it in their looks and hear it in their voices. What can I do to make things up to them and prove I’m not going to ruin dinner again.
Allie
Dear Allie,
My, my, I got the picture. Not only could I see you as the holiday centerpiece, I could almost hear gasping. It took me a while to remove the image of a beautiful table, fine crystal stemware and soft glowing candles. Not to mention the big turkey with stuffing and all the other great smelling food. You did not happen to do a little sampling, did you? Never mind. Don’t answer that.
You were a bad kitty, yes, but it could have been worse. There could have been a putrid smell of burning fur had you not paid proper attention to the candles and accidentally set yourself on fire. What if you sampled the turkey dressing which likely contains sage? Sage can do a number on your gastrointestinal system and, in more simple terms, cause a major tummy ache which could completely overpower the food, scented candles, and burnt fur smells. Yes, it could have been a lot worse!
Follow these suggestions to help your people feel assured you will not do a repeat of last year:
- 1. Stay completely out of the dining room. When they are paying attention to you, walk toward the entryway, then proudly turn around and walk away.
- 2. Stay completely out of the kitchen. You want them to feel comfortable that you are not interested in the yummy food smells.
- 3. Practice calm and aloofness at all times until, say, President’s Day.
And remember, there is a magical law honored by pet people: You can do some pretty stupid things and they will still always love you.
Your friend,
Fisher
Creative Commons photo by Two Ladies & Two Cats
Dear friends,
First, let me say, “Halloween is almost here.” Secondly, “It is almost over!” Please take extra time to view safety tips for pets. For many of us, this celebration can be pretty stressful.
- If you are not already chipped, do so asap.
- Candy and candy wrappers are not healthy for pets.
- Do not want to wear a costume? Cause huge ruckus.
- After costume is removed, give huge kisses to human.
Please visit the North Shore Animal League for expert advice. It is a must read for you and your humans.
Please feel free to add your own safety tips in my comment section.
Be careful, be cautious, and stay in a safe place. Remember, even a cute princess or Barbie doll may have a mean streak on this night.
Your friend,
Fisher
Dear Fisher,
Things around our house are getting crazy. The kids are all hyper and trying to scare me, and it’s working just fine. This is holiday season – that’s what they say. It’s just starting and I can’t wait until it’s over. Worst is they have pictures of black cats in the window and they all look scary as heck. It is an insult to me and gives black cats a bad name. Sometimes I just want to run away from home. Can you help?
Pedro
Dear Pedro,
If you mean will I help you run away from home, the answer is “No!” But, if you mean will I help you deal with your situation, I will be happy to. First order of business is to get the kids under control. Even though you have a built in instinct to fight back or run away when you are afraid, these reactions only encourage them. Children can become overly exuberant when allowed to act like little monsters. You may remember doing much the same when you were a kitten.
We cats are blessed with a secret weapon – aloofness. When the children put on scary masks and rush at you – act aloof. After 3 or 4 efforts to scare you, they become bored. They then pick on each other, which annoys the parents and they end up in time out. At this point, feel free to do a little happy dance. All is under control.
As for the actual night of Halloween, your adult family members should help you by:
- 1. Setting up the master bedroom as your safe haven, with litter box, food and water dishes.
- 2. Select a pleasant program on TV so the endless doorbell ringing will not drive you nuts.
- 3. Close the door to the bedroom and appoint only one person to open it to check on you.
Everyone must be on guard for your safety and inability to escape. Urban legend or not, cats should not go out on All Hallows Eve. Many animal rescue groups report an abrupt increase in the adoption of black cats at this time.
Please read Tom Fink’s no nonsense article on pet safety at Halloween, Claremore Daily Progress (Oklahoma).
You are right to say this is the first of the holiday season, and no doubt the worst of it will be over for you soon. Next is Thanksgiving. Please remember to think kindly upon all turkeys.
Your friend,
Fisher
Win a custom watercolor pet portrait for yourself,
or a gift certificate for a friend.
Contest details (cats do not have rules):
OR
readers who do not have pets may enter on behalf of
their friends and win a gift certificate by sending a
photo(s) – if you have one – of your friend with a short
bio and a description of their issue.
You are allowed to use a fictitious name in order
to keep your plan a secret and
also to not offend your friend – or let me know if you
want to remain anonymous.
Not all my readers have pets and a gift certificate will make a very cool gift.
1. Entries may be submitted by email to askfisher@gmail.com or by snail mail to: Fisher Harris, 200 2nd Ave S 123, St. Petersburg, FL 33701.
2. Your entry constitutes your agreement to allow us to publish your letter and photo during and/or after the contest, whether or not you win the grand prize.
3. The contest winner will receive an original 5 x 7 watercolor portrait plus 5 “private edition” note cards or a certificate for the same.
The winning entry will be drawn by an independent, non-partisan, uninvolved helper to ensure no heartstrings are pulled and it is completely fair.
More than one pet? Multiple entries are accepted.
One winner is guaranteed, but there could be more depending on the number and uniqueness of entries. Not limited to cats and dogs. All pets are included with the exception of pet rocks and humans.
portrait or certificate
delivery before Christmas.
The winner will be notified on October 23, 2010 via email.
Stop by Water Color Your World to preview other pet portraits.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions, and by all means pass this along to your friends. You never know – they may enter to get a certificate for you!
Your friend,
Fisher
