Change your cat-a-tude

Dear Fisher,

My name is Lightning because I used to dart around like a bolt of lightening. I am older and calmer now, but I have had to make some serious adjustments. Me and Cooper were adopted as little kittens into a wonderful home where we were pretty spoiled rotten. We were so happy with her that we never came out from hiding when others came to visit.

Then one day, our person became very ill and could no longer take care of us. Her friends helped arrange for our new home. We were very sad, but instead of sticking together, Cooper started acting like my enemy. That really hurts and I am wondering why he had this sudden change in attitude. We are in a nice home with good people. Do you have any ideas?

Lightning

Dear Lightning,

I am so sorry to hear about your sadness but happy you have a nice new home. Humans are frightfully aware of the pain in their hearts when their pets become ill and they can no longer help them, but they are not always so aware of the trauma a pet may feel over losing his owner. It is a tough situation when pets feel loss, sadness and fear. In your case, where your good buddy is now acting like your enemy, it is natural for you to wonder what the heck is happening. I would ask that you give Cooper more time to make adjustments. He is likely taking his frustrations out on you. As soon as you understand that, you will not take it personally.

Two things you should not do: First, do not assume the whiny “poor me” kitty attitude. This will only make you more vulnerable and easier to torment. Second, forget about beefing up in order to clean Cooper’s clock. There will be no peace in the valley if the two of you are constantly whopping each other. Keep in mind this could result in your permanent separation. You can, however, assume the Gandhi persona and just let it be and in the meanwhile, ohm for the best possible outcome.

Your new humans must watch for poor behavior habits right away. After all, you have just gone through a major life change. What can they do about it?

1. If one cat decides to be an alpha cat and set all the rules, equal treatment by the humans is a good equalizer.
2. Take note of times of good behavior and congeniality and make these special – treats are good.
3. Separate your food and water bowls and provide separate little beds, moving them closer together as time heals wounds.
4. Call for a time out if bickering becomes more aggressive – separate cats for awhile and then slowly reintroduce them.
5. Learn more about stressed out cats – visit Best Cat Art to find out more information on stressed out cats.

Getting back to a good relationship is very possible and is, of course, the most positive outcome you could have. I do want to mention, though, that you should also take note of your own behavior to make sure you are not the antagonist. Best of luck to you!

Your friend,
Fisher

published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition