Vac Attack!

Dear Fisher,

My human has another pet. It is loud, noisy, and obnoxious and I hate it. I think my human likes it so much because it doesn’t shed, in fact, it cannot seem to get enough of the hair I shed. I have tried to scare it away by growling, barking, and nipping at it, but it does no good! My human brings it out and lets it run around the house; all the while she is chasing it, as if she really enjoys this creature!

I am trying to protect her from this hair-sucking monster, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate my concern, and seems annoyed with me. How can I get the human to understand?

Cosmo the Hoover-Hater

Dear Cosmo,

It seems you are spending much energy on saving your human from the dangers of the Hoover. You might want to consider that your human is using it for good purpose. It will help if you determine the root of the problem here. Are you overly territorial? Or, are you extremely sensitive to the high frequency noise this thing puts out. We all know dogs have terrific hearing that catches noises inaudible to most humans.

The high frequency hearing talent is the most common scientific reason why a dog would react badly to a vacuum cleaner. If it is your sensitive hearing that causes you to take on the Hoover, you would do well to use the doggy door and wait outside until the thing is put away. No yard? Choose a quiet room and nudge the door closed. Do not worry, you will be found and released when the dance is over.

There is little explanation as to why two dogs living in the same house with the same beast would react differently; one dog going into an attack mode, while the other remains completely aloof. I have even heard of a dog with big flappy lips who loves to have his lips pulled into the nozzle as though he is getting a lip massage. Many dogs like getting “brushed” with the evil monster. So, maybe we should look at the territorial issue and how best to handle that.

You growl, bark and nip at it. You are wasting time and often annoying your human. You and your human will do well to work on your socialization skills. The results will lead to a cleaner, happier household. If you are so inclined to get your two cents in anyway, feel free to shed all over everything again. Just know that the Hoover will be back.

Try this exercise in socialization:

• Allow the Hoover to spend more time in the family room without turning it on
• Place treat on or near Hoover so dog gets used to closeness without fear
• Turn vacuum on and off without pushing it around; if dog is good, dog gets a treat
• Never scold or criticize dog for reacting badly
• Find more good tips at Dog Obedience Advice

There are special products on the market you should know about. Brushers can be attached to the sucker for your personal grooming. And, this is neat – a toy dog closely resembling a real dog attaches to the nozzle, muffles the noise and is less scary. Or, maybe the robot vacuum that turns on and runs around by itself when it detects something to suck up. I am not bringing these things up to give you nightmares but to give options. I am guessing you will be much happier to just settle in with the Hoover.

Your friend,
Fisher

published in tbt Tampa Bay
Out There weekend edition

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