Dear Fisher,

I’m so obsessed with lizards. I’m an inside cat, but, my human “mama” lets me go outside on our deck, weather permitting; to play, get fresh air and sunshine. I have to be supervised out there of course, as my feline instincts have gotten the worst of me and I’ve jumped over the top, yep, she freaked out!Anyway, when I see a lizard, I go nuts!

I love to catch it, bring it inside as a gift for mom, and also to play with it, then chomp down on it….Mmmmmm, I think they are a tasty delight, but, my human acts so grossed out and I don’t understand why. I have not been sick…(she has) so, are they o.k.for me to eat the “whole thing”?

Please let her know so I can continue my hunt for those luscious morsels.
Thank you for your time.

Jake

Dear Jake,

It sounds to me like you are quite the adventurous cat as well as a dedicated connoisseur of lizards. Your human mama sounds a bit like mine, only I never get to the lizard to even think about playing with it or eating it. By the time she is done flailing her arms about and making strange noises, the lizard is scared silly and disappears. They are fast little critters and mean no harm.

Cats are natural predators and so are the little lizards. While you are chasing them, they are eating bugs and insects that can be equally annoying to your household members. Your little playmates and eventual snacks are native to Florida and are called Green Anole (uh’no-lee) or Cuban Brown Anole, which are becoming more prevalent. Their little feet differ from most lizards in that each toe has adhesive pads (lamellae) on its central portion which enables them to climb walls and end up on ceilings if they need to get away from strange humans and hungry cats. You might want to visit FloridaGardner where you can learn more about the lizards on your deck, and maybe your human mama will be able to alleviate her fear of them.

They are not harmful. As a matter of fact, children (and even some adults) have been known to scoop them up, hold them to their ear where they reach out and take hold, becoming fun earrings to the human. Very few native Floridians can understand why anyone would be afraid of the little guys. They are a vested part of the Florida lifestyle.
As with all creatures living in the wild, the anole can contract diseases from the insects it eats. If you should happen to munch on a lizard for dessert one day, and the lizard happens to possibly harbor salmonella, you can become a victim of the bacterial strain most commonly known as food poisoning. This will likely cure you of your lizard hunger. Your digestive system will let you know and if your innards feel like they are on the roller-coaster at Universal Studios. If this happens, you should contact your doctor and explain your eating habits.

The anole are around your deck because they are after a luscious meal of their own. There is a reason they would brave your instincts to dine on your deck. Is it possible you have a plant full of little bugs? You can move the plant off the deck and out into the yard, which will entice the lizards to move also. Or, your human mama can spray the deck with bug spray to keep insects off. But like I said before, they belong in Florida every bit as much as we do, and peaceful co-existence is the best route to take.

Unlike you, I have never been able to get close enough to eat a lizard. I am just wondering – do they taste like chicken?

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

I just found out my folks are moving to the Tampa Bay area. We already live in Florida so that won’t be so different, but there’s lots of talk around the house about “getting me in”. I’m in “best behavior, totally obedient, definitely praiseworthy, best friend you will ever have” mode because they look at the paper, then look at me, then back to the paper again, and then that little sigh that gives me the creeps.

I’m pretty sure they’ll take me with them, but there is talk about a DIET. Boxes are lining the walls and I’m starting to get nervous. Surely I get to move to the new place too? What can you tell me that will calm my nerves?

Carter

Dear Carter,

Calm down and stay in the “mode”! Expect everything to turn out in your favor. Believe that you are one of the lucky ones. That has always worked for me. But, according to the Humane Society of the United States, “moving” and “landlord won’t allow” are among the top reasons given by pet owners when relinquishing their dogs or cats to animal shelters. If more rental housing permitted pets, millions of dogs and cats could be placed in homes—or stay in their homes when their caregivers move.

Do not panic. That information need not apply to you! There are a lot of forces out there preparing the way for pet owners to move about the country and take their pets with them. After all, you are family and they love you. The HSUS has a list of 13 steps (that would be “lucky 13” to you) steps to finding animal friendly housing. For instance, don’t waste time if a complex or condo association is inflexible about accepting pets. Who needs them? Take the time to search out places are pet-friendly. The trend is in our favor!
Be totally honest – if you weigh 75 pounds, don’t try to pass for 45. Humans seem to be able to do that – pets cannot. Check out HSUS.

While your humans are looking for location, location, location, get them to start thinking about promotion, promotion, promotion. I recently heard that some pet people are putting together resumes for their pets. Of course, non-pet owners might think this is a little over the edge, but remember, that is the kind of thinking that makes pet people so special. And, hey, it can be fun!

Start with a few general rules, like no more than 2 pages. Your resume should include all your best assets, personality traits, and any special training you have had. Just be honest. If you say you don’t bark, remember to not bark for the duration of the lease. Can you? If not, don’t write it in. The diet thing is good if you are overweight anyway, but remember your can’t stuff a big boulder into a small jewelry box. Most rentals have weight restrictions. If renting a house rather than an apartment, your resume can convince the new landlord to wave the weight restriction if there is a nice yard for you and if everything else on your resume checks out perfectly. Apartments and condos set their weight restrictions at 35 to 50 pounds.

Start at the top with Goals and Objectives. For example: My goal is to continue living with my people who love me so-o-o much (a little heart-wrenching), and to live in such a fine establishment as yours, (well, you know), in peace and harmony with other residents and their pets (a real team player). Then go into your past experiences. How did you deal with unruly neighbor pets, what is it that makes you an outstanding resident, and throw in the name and phone number of your current landlord to use as Reference #1. Looking good!

Have you been to obedience school, and if not, why you did not have to. Are you pedigreed or were you adopted from a shelter, where of course you had good training in dormitory life and a big dose of getting along with others. Do you have yearly check-ups and is your health in tip-top shape. You might want to include Reference #2 from your vet, with his/her statement of up to date shots and all that. It is also important to state how your people treat you. Your personality and behavior is based a lot on that. Are you well loved and cared for. What are your habits regarding cleanliness and what do your people do to assist you in that. Describe your pooper scooper. Forego the “cute” and keep it business-like.

Finally, there is an excellent resource for pet-loving apartment hunters on the internet. You can visit People with Pets and choose your state and city to find local opportunities. As I said earlier, the odds are on our side! Looking forward to having you join us over here in Tampa Bay!

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

Dear Fisher,

My name is Boone, and I am writing about my housemate Smokey. He is the one in the picture. We joined our new family about a year ago and before that we were kinda passed around and unsettled. I know we both love it here with a man and his teenage daughter. It’s a great place!

Smokey is usually a pretty nice cat to be around and he doesn’t bother me at all, but he can be a real jerk when it comes to the girl we live with. One minute he is all calm and curled up on the couch, and then the next minute he sees her walking across the living room and he is up and chasing her and trying to bite her ankles.

No one in the house ever knows when he is gong to have his attacks and we sure don’t know why. She is a neat kid and loves him and plays with him. Why would he want to hurt her?

Boone

Dear Boone,

The first thing you need to determine is if Smokey is being aggressive or is he trying to play? Think back to when you first joined your new family. Smokey might have felt scared and needed extra attention. When he acted out, did your new people laugh and play along?

Because of your unsettled past, I am thinking Smokey may have developed his behavior because he was afraid or defensive about his territory. Aggressive cats are much more trainable when they are kittens. If you don’t encourage biting and nipping then, they will likely not turn to it when they are older. This is not the case for you now, but I can think of two things you can try, and then if it continues, you might want to seek professional help.

One of the best ways to help a cat overcome this bad habit is to totally ignore his actions. That is easy for us to decide, but the young lady might not find it so. First, her best recourse is to not react at all. If she runs away, he will be encouraged and his predatory instincts will come into play. If she can, she should try to just stop in her tracks, stand still, and say nothing. That might cause Smokey to also stop and THINK. When that happens, the young lady should purposely and obviously ignore him. No scolding, no chasing back, and no attention whatsoever will give Smokey a clear signal that his actions are not appreciated. She could then distance herself from him, possibly going into a room and closing him out for awhile.

Secondly, Smokey might just need to join into play that allows him to be playful and somewhat aggressive, but not hurtful. There are some fun toys out there. Many pet stores will have a toy attached to a small fishing rod. The toy can be hurled out and Smokey can chase and fetch. He gets a chance to be the predator, he gets a heightened amount of exercise, and he gets tired and will want to nap. Hurray!. My very favorite toy is called the Cat Dancer and you can find it in “I recommend…” on the side bar. I have never met a cat who didn’t love it. The toy is constructed with a thin wire that is invisible to us and then has an attachment on the end that makes us think of prey. The wire allows for a lot of springing away when the end piece is attacked and hunting and jumping of the cat can last for a good fifteen minutes plus!

I cannot ignore a small warning for you, dear Boone. Cat scratches can lead to infections, so please try to help your family stop the attacks. Your young lady is a precious part of your household and I know the intention is not to harm her.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay