Expanding horizons

Dear Fisher,

Hi, my name is Zelda. It is great to finally write you. My human reads your column and sometimes brings it home to show me.

Anyway, I am having some trouble in my new home here, and I was wondering if you could help me. My human and I met through his X and when they split up, I stayed with him. Even though he gets up REAL early in the morning and wakes me up, and then to school and work, and back home late at night and I have to yell at him for attention – I love it here! And, his parents have 2 Pomeranian dogs who are fun to play with.

I share a room with my human, and have a special pillow on the bed. Everything would seem great to the outside observer, but there is a dark side. My human’s parents already had a cat. Her name is Kitty-Lynn and she is a stick in the mud. She never wants to play and it seems like every time I come outside of my room to roam around, she is always there. We always end up just in the middle of a stand-off, hissing at each other and just staring. There are times when I try to be nice, but it just doesn’t work. I was wondering what can be done so we can finally live in peace. Sure, I have my room and she has hers, and as long as we stay out of each other’s way we are fine. But I would like to be able to share the living room and family room with her. Is there anything that can be done so we can finally get past our petty differences?

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

It sounds very encouraging to me that Kitty-Lynn and you are not getting into anything worse than hissing and staring. The process of getting along can be slower than you would like but it is very possible. Kitty-Lynn is probably a little miffed at your unexpected arrival. If you can try to not take that personally, it will help you both. She had her territory all laid out and was happy as the only cat.

There are some very interesting things you can do to make things better. All household members will need to cooperate and I think you will all get some good fun out of the exercises in the long run. Think of them as “character building” games.

Since you have already developed a pattern of hissing and staring at each other when any boundaries are crossed, it is best to start over at the beginning. That means that you, Zelda, will be confined to your own room for a short period of time. You will keep your litter box and food dishes in there with you, and of course, you have your own pillow on the bed. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and sleep directly on the bed cover and just use the pillow for your head.

The next step is for your human to put your food dishes very near to the door of your room before he goes out for the day. His parents should put Kitty-Lynn’s dishes on the other side of the door. The door stays closed a while longer. But, you will both start to associate each other’s presence with something pleasurable, like eating your dinner. Kitty-Lynn will start to get used to your smells, and you will start to get used to hers.
Stay with me – this is getting fun. Next step is to put a brick on each side of the door so it can remain open a tiny bit, not enough for either of you to break on through to the other side. Lots of opportunity to peak at each other! Good old cat curiosity will take over and you will both probably forget the staring and hissing shortly.

And now the Grande Finale! You, Zelda, can come out of your room and into the main house. Yes, the whole house! Kitty-Lynn will stay in your room with your things for awhile. Oh, I know, there is going to be a whole lot of snooping and sniffing going on while you get accustomed to each other’s smells, but as long as you have hidden away your really personal documents, there should be no problem. As you get to know each other in this very subtle way, you will become ready to face each other with a different attitude. You may not end up snuggling together, but I foresee some playtime together. Or, you might end up just peacefully tolerating each other which is pretty good, and we all know cats are masters of tolerance!

I also want to mention that our Tampa Bay SPCA also has a FREE Behavior Helpline. Call 727-586-3591, then ask for or dial extension 133 and follow the prompts.

Your friend,

Fisher

published in tbt* Tampa Bay

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